My Thoughts on How the Internet Changed Love

I think in this day and age; we have surrounded ourselves with images and stories of love. Every song is a 'love song' in a way. That doesn't mean it talks about love in a healthy or respectful way, but it just goes to show the obsession our generation has. Each of us are wanting 'the one' or that perfect love story but are looking at the 'plenty of fish in the sea' and seeing dying marriage statistics and a sea full of mutant fish or monsters. 

The age of the internet has made it, so we do not miss anyone anymore. Now, you are a text or a snapchat away. There is no space for a person to realize that they miss you. To crave wanting to speak to you or be with you. People expect you to be available to answer your messages. That you are on-call. Meaning, that you are always communicating, in theory spending everyday talking constantly with eight hours to sleep (although who has gotten eight hours lately, but for the sake of my argument), you are spending 112 hours a week conversing. Imagine how much you can learn about a person in 112 hours.  You could possibly learn everything there is to know about a person. 

I believe that this is one reason that relationships sometimes either accelerate or stalls at alarming speeds. You know what I'm talking about, a relationship that goes so fast and you feel so good, but then a couple months in, you don't recognize the person or yourself. Or the classic pitfall into a situationship, where the relationship never moves or amounts to anything. 

We have also normalized our bodies to a point where they seem almost worthless. Now bear with me, I know I sound old fashioned so far but hear me out. It is almost expected to hook up with someone before defining your relationship. It is normal to have a 'roster' full of people that you are 'talking to'. And guys, have generally, not every single one, have taken this new unspoken rule and ran. You know that guy with a hundred girls in his phone and 'can't be tied down'.  Not to say that girls cannot be like that too, it's just generally men that pursue this.

I mean look at dating apps. Swiping left and right constantly. Although you cannot see it, it makes users feel like there is always someone better. Or someone hotter, or someone with more, or someone with whatever. It gives you too many, for a lack of a better word, options. People understand this subconsciously and choose to not use the dating apps for dating.  Instead, well I don't have to tell you what they use them for, you already know. But it progresses this idea that love is less valuable, that real relationships are not valuable, that companionship beyond the physical is not as valuable as just the physical. 

What's funny is that men are still saying they want to get married. According to that study I mentioned before, marriage is still a vital part of a man's life. For women, that is changing. Women are more comfortable having children and raising them as a single parent. Women are finding that marriage is not needed in order to have children. To me, I see girls growing up and getting thrown into this dystopic system of love, and by the time that women would generally be getting engaged or married, they are sick of the games. They feel as if it is not worth it, that 'the one' does not exist. So, they move on.  

I hope this changes. I would like to believe in the institution of marriage, but it's a little difficult when this is the pathway, and the divorce rate is 41% for first time marriages and 60% for second time marriages.  

To me this article was too interesting not to comment on from my perspective.

As always with love and lightheartedness,

Cici